The Merciful Obtain Mercy

The Debt We Could Never Repay

The Savior taught plainly that the merciful obtain mercy. When Peter asked, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” He then gave the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21–35).

A servant was brought before his lord who owed ten thousand talents. A talent was commonly reckoned at about six thousand denarii, and a denarius was about a day’s wage for a laborer. His debt therefore represented roughly sixty million days of labor and was far beyond anything he could realistically repay.

The servant fell down and pleaded for patience, promising to repay everything. More time could never have solved his problem, however, because the debt was beyond his ability to satisfy. He needed mercy, and his lord had compassion upon him and forgave the entire debt.

That same servant then found a fellow servant who owed him one hundred denarii, about one hundred days of labor. The debt was real, but it was very small compared with what had just been forgiven. Yet when the fellow servant pleaded for patience, the forgiven servant refused and had him cast into prison.

When the lord learned what had happened, he called the servant wicked and held him accountable for the debt that had previously been forgiven. He had received extraordinary mercy without allowing that mercy to change the way he treated another person (Matthew 18:32–35).

The Savior gave this parable because every one of us stands before God needing mercy. We have debts before Him that we cannot repair by ourselves, and we depend completely upon Jesus Christ to redeem, cleanse, heal, and restore us. Having received such mercy, we are required to become merciful.

“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7; 3 Nephi 12:7).

We Are Required to Forgive All Men

The Lord has given a direct commandment concerning those who sin against us: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (Doctrine and Covenants 64:10).

Their repentance is not a condition of our obedience. Whether they apologize, acknowledge what happened, understand the harm they caused, or continue believing they did nothing wrong does not change what the Lord requires of us. Even when someone is presently sinning against us, we are still commanded to forgive them.

We therefore have no authority to hold another person’s sin over them until they satisfy conditions we have established. Saying, “I will forgive you when you repent,” reverses the commandment by making our mercy dependent upon their behavior. The Lord gave us no such qualification.

Forgiveness means releasing the offense and hurt from our heart. We surrender hatred, resentment, vengeance, and the desire to keep the person condemned because of what they did. Their sin is no longer something we preserve as a personal debt owed to us.

This commandment belongs to everyone. No calling, office, relationship, or severity of injury releases anyone from the requirement to forgive all men.

Who Judges Repentance

Forgiving another person is different from judging repentance. Jesus Christ may appoint righteous judges in Israel who have a stewardship to help people work through serious sins and determine matters of covenant standing.

A bishop or another authorized judge may need to hear a confession, teach the repentance process, require restitution where appropriate, impose restrictions or probation, determine whether someone may participate in ordinances or full fellowship, and later judge when those restrictions should be removed. These decisions are made under the Lord’s direction because the judge has responsibility for the order and standing of those within his stewardship.

The judge does not personally forgive the person’s sins before God. Jesus Christ does that. His role is to help the person come fully to Christ, discern the fruits of repentance, administer the order the Lord has established, and help the person understand when the Lord has accepted their repentance.

That stewardship never releases the judge from his own duty to forgive. He may determine that someone is not presently ready for full fellowship while still loving and completely forgiving that individual. His personal mercy and his responsibility to administer covenant standing are separate matters.

Those who have not been given such a stewardship should not assume it for themselves. We are not authorized to conduct private worthiness interviews in our hearts and decide whether another person has repented enough to deserve our mercy. Where the Lord has appointed a judge, let that judge fulfill his stewardship; where He has not, judgment belongs to the Lord.

Forgiveness and Trust

Forgiveness and trust are not the same thing. Forgiveness is commanded regardless of what another person does, while trust appropriately responds to present conduct.

When someone is abusive, violent, deceitful, manipulative, sexually unsafe, threatening, or otherwise dangerous, wisdom may require distance, separation, supervision, reporting, legal protection, or another firm boundary. Recognizing present danger is not the same as condemning the person who created it.

Trust should be rebuilt according to the fruit a person produces. Honesty can restore confidence after deception, dependability can repair a history of broken commitments, and sustained change can gradually make greater access appropriate after serious harm. Depending upon what occurred, that process may require considerable time, accountability, treatment, restitution, or other evidence of stability.

A boundary should remain connected to the reason it exists. If the harmful conduct ends and a person consistently demonstrates something different, yesterday’s sin should not be turned into a permanent sentence that no amount of change can overcome.

If harmful behavior returns, protection may again become necessary because of what is occurring now. Trust responds to present reality; forgiveness releases the offense from the heart.

Forgiveness Does Not Remove Consequences

Forgiveness does not erase the consequences of sin. Crimes may still require lawful punishment, restitution may still be owed, and serious covenant violations may require probation, restricted fellowship, or other correction under those whom the Lord has appointed to judge such matters.

These consequences are not a refusal to forgive. Their purpose is to uphold justice, protect others, repair what can be repaired, preserve covenant order, and help the sinner complete the repentance process. Mercy and accountability can therefore exist together.

Yet where consequences are within our own stewardship, the Lord would have us be merciful whenever righteousness allows. We should not seek the greatest penalty simply because we have the right to demand it. If a debt can be released, an offense answered with generosity, or a consequence softened without creating danger, injustice, or neglecting a responsibility God has given us, mercy is the better way.

The principle is the same as generosity. The measure we extend toward others teaches what kind of measure we desire from God. “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7; 3 Nephi 12:7). If we have been wronged and can respond not only with forgiveness but with mercy concerning what is owed to us, we should remember how greatly we ourselves depend upon the mercy of Jesus Christ.

It is far better for another person to owe God than to owe us. We can release what belongs to our own claim and leave the remaining judgment with Him, trusting that He sees the wrong perfectly and will deal with both the offender and us in righteousness and mercy.

Forgive and Remember Their Sins No More

The Lord says concerning those who repent, “I, the Lord, remember them no more” (Doctrine and Covenants 58:42). His words teach us that sin should not become a permanent identity attached to someone who has changed.

Remembering sins no more does not require erasing memory. We may remember what happened, the pain it caused, warning signs we learned to recognize, or wisdom gained through the experience. Those lessons can remain useful without preserving an accusation against the person.

There is a difference between remembering what happened and continually remembering, “You are the person who did this to me.” The first retains knowledge; the second keeps the offense attached to the individual.

Past sins should therefore not be stored away as evidence to be retrieved whenever another disagreement arises. When something has been dealt with, it is not to remain available as a weapon, a way to strengthen a new accusation, or a reason to keep defining someone by who they once were.

We remember the lesson without preserving the accusation. In this way, experience can make us wiser without making us bitter.

Unforgiveness Becomes a Burden

When we refuse to forgive, we begin carrying another person’s offense with us. The original sin may have belonged to them, but the resentment, accusation, bitterness, and hatred we preserve become burdens upon our own soul.

That burden prevents healing. Continually returning to the injury keeps it active within us, allowing something another person did in the past to continue influencing our thoughts, relationships, decisions, worship, and peace. What began as one offense can eventually reach into many areas of life because we have never released it.

In this way, unforgiveness becomes a poison and a stumbling block. We may want to move forward, yet the preserved grievance continually brings us back to what happened. Progress becomes difficult because we remain tied to the person and event through the offense we continue carrying.

Forgiveness removes that burden. We place the matter in the hands of God, cease demanding repayment within our own heart, and become innocent before Him of continuing to hold the offense against the person. The injury may still require time to heal, but we are no longer feeding the thing that keeps the wound open.

If we refuse to forgive, our spiritual progress eventually stops. In that sense, unforgiveness damns us because it prevents further progression toward the character of Jesus Christ. We cannot become like Him while deliberately preserving hatred or condemnation toward another person.

We cannot control whether someone apologizes, repents, changes, or makes restitution. We can choose whether their offense remains loaded upon our own back. When we forgive, that weight is released and healing can continue.

To become like Jesus Christ, we must become forgiving and merciful as He has commanded us to be.

Evil Speaking and Gossip

Evil speaking tears another person down rather than helping them. Gossip unnecessarily spreads someone’s sins, faults, weaknesses, shame, or private matters to people who have no responsibility to help.

Truth alone does not make such speech righteous. An accurate report can still be cruel, unnecessary, or intended to damage another person’s reputation. Before speaking, we should consider whether the listener has a legitimate reason to know and whether sharing the information serves a righteous purpose.

The Lord has commanded, “Thou shalt not speak evil of thy neighbor” (Doctrine and Covenants 42:27), “cease to speak evil one of another” (Doctrine and Covenants 136:23), and to let our words edify one another (Doctrine and Covenants 136:24).

Another person’s shame should not become conversation used to gain sympathy, agreement, vindication, amusement, or support against them. Private weakness is not ours to distribute merely because we know about it.

Righteous reporting is different. Abuse, crime, serious covenant violations, or another matter requiring intervention should be taken to someone who has an actual responsibility to help. Seeking needed protection, correction, or counsel is not gossip when information is shared honestly and only as far as the purpose requires.

The distinction is found in stewardship and purpose. Gossip spreads weakness where no righteous need exists; proper reporting places necessary truth before someone responsible to act.

Mercy Is Required in Zion

Mercy is not merely a desirable quality among the people of Zion. It is part of the law of the Celestial Kingdom and essential to the unity Christ requires of His people.

Zion cannot be built by people who continually keep score against one another. Grudges, accusation, contempt, and refusal to forgive divide hearts and eventually make unity impossible. The Lord has declared, “If ye are not one ye are not mine” (Doctrine and Covenants 38:27).

This does not mean that deep injuries cease hurting immediately. Forgiveness may be chosen while emotional healing continues for a long time, and painful memories can return even after resentment has been surrendered. Struggling with an injury is different from deliberately choosing to keep another person condemned.

Persistent refusal to forgive is rebellion against a direct commandment of Christ. Someone who knowingly preserves hatred, vengeance, or a grudge must repent of that sin regardless of what originally happened to them.

Being fit for Zion therefore requires more than knowing the doctrine of Christ. We must allow Him to make us patient, charitable, forgiving, and merciful.

Forgiveness Is Not Permanent Exclusion

Some wrongdoing may require separation, and serious danger can make that separation lengthy. Necessary protection should remain as long as the reason for it remains, but a past offense should not automatically become a sentence of permanent hatred or rejection.

The hope of a disciple is that sinners can become different through Jesus Christ. Healing, reconciliation, restored fellowship, and renewed relationships should remain possible wherever changed circumstances make them righteous and safe.

This is why disciples minister even to those who have committed serious crimes. Someone may properly remain in prison because justice and public safety require it while still being loved, taught, visited, prayed for, and encouraged to come to Christ. Lawful consequences do not require us to stop hoping for the person’s salvation.

Christ came to save sinners and transform them. His disciples should desire that same result rather than taking satisfaction in permanent condemnation.

Do Not Give Up on People

The sons of Mosiah provide an important example of refusing to decide that another people were beyond change.

When they announced their intention to preach among the Lamanites, many of the Nephites laughed them to scorn. Generations of violence and hatred had caused some to believe that the Lamanites should simply be destroyed rather than taught (Alma 26:23–25).

The Lord gave different instructions. He told the sons of Mosiah to “be patient in long-suffering and afflictions” and promised to make them instruments in His hands for the salvation of many souls (Alma 17:11). They served people who had been their enemies, endured hardship among them, and continued teaching because they believed those people could change.

Many did.

I have also known people who rejected God, rejected the Church, or became angry with me because of my faith. Some wanted little or nothing to do with me, but I tried to continue loving them rather than returning their anger.

Later, when serious trials entered some of their lives, they remembered that I had continued caring about them when our relationship was difficult. Some came to me and asked why I had continued loving them, and my answer was simple: because I love Jesus Christ.

We do not know who another person may eventually become. Change may occur quickly or only after many years, but the present condition of a person does not give us knowledge of the end of their story.

Christ can reach people we may have believed were unreachable. We should therefore continue desiring their good and leave room for the work He may yet accomplish in them.

Unmercifulness Grieves the Spirit

Unmercifulness affects more than our relationships with other people. It also affects our relationship with God.

The Lord taught that unrighteous dominion causes “the heavens [to] withdraw themselves” and “the Spirit of the Lord [to be] grieved” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:37). Hatred, contempt, accusation, and deliberate cruelty are contrary to the Spirit we seek to have with us.

A person cannot continually tear others down while expecting spiritual life to remain unaffected. Teaching charity while privately nourishing resentment creates a contradiction between what we profess and what we have allowed into our heart.

When we recognize unmercifulness within ourselves, the answer is repentance. We acknowledge it before God, stop feeding it, and ask Him to replace it with the charity required of His disciples.

The purpose is not merely to appear peaceful before others. Our hearts must become places where the Holy Ghost can remain.

Repair What Has Been Broken

When our own unmerciful conduct has injured another person, repentance requires us to repair what we reasonably can. Gossip must stop, false impressions should be corrected, damaged reputations should be defended, and cruel or wrongful treatment should be acknowledged without excuse.

Repair must be done wisely so that an attempt to correct one injury does not create another. Sometimes this requires an apology to the person we harmed; in other cases, people who received an inaccurate or unfair account need to be told that what we said was wrong or incomplete.

Bitterness within the heart must also be taken to the Lord. We ask Him to change us, help us see the person more clearly, and remove the resentment we have allowed to remain.

Where reconciliation is possible and righteous, we should work toward it rather than remaining satisfied with unnecessary division. Repentance seeks peace wherever peace can properly be restored.

The Lord commands, “Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith.” He then promises that our confidence may wax strong in His presence, that doctrine may distil upon our souls as the dews from heaven, and that the Holy Ghost may become our constant companion (Doctrine and Covenants 121:45–46).

Repair is part of becoming clean ourselves. We cannot undo every consequence of our mistakes, but we are responsible to make right what is within our power to repair.

Become Merciful

The parable of the unforgiving servant teaches what the mercy of Jesus Christ is supposed to produce within us. A man who had been released from a debt representing roughly sixty million days of labor refused to release another man from a debt of about one hundred days.

Every one of us depends upon a mercy from Christ that we could never purchase for ourselves. We need Him to forgive, cleanse, correct, heal, and continue working with us as we learn to become different.

Having received that mercy, we are commanded to forgive all men. We leave divine forgiveness and the judgment of repentance to Jesus Christ and those stewardships He establishes, while we remove resentment and condemnation from our own hearts.

Justice may still perform its work, trust may respond wisely to conduct, and consequences may remain where they are required. None of those things changes the commandment to be merciful.

We cannot become like Jesus Christ while refusing to forgive. To live in His kingdom, we must allow His mercy toward us to make us merciful toward others.

“Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy” (Matthew 5:7; 3 Nephi 12:7). “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9; 3 Nephi 12:9).

Zion must be a people who live those words.